Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Destiny, Meet Your Fate

This week’s host for The Writers’ Post Thursday Blog Hop is Suzy Que of Someday, Somewhere.  The topic she chose for this week’s hop is Destiny.

I have thought about this particular topic all week.  It is a word we throw around haphazardly, “She was destined to be a star.”  “Destiny seen to it he died a hero.” “They were destined to meet and live happily ever after.”   And you might be surprised to know, that as a dreamer, a writer, and someone who has used that word destiny just as carelessly as the next person, that I have a REAL problem with destiny.   I don’t know exactly who “Destiny” thinks he or she is—but maybe, just maybe, destiny had nothing to do with it?

Okay—stand by while I uncork a bottle of wine—because I’m going deep.

Malbec 2

The word destiny is a noun that is defined as follows:

  1. The events that will necessarily happen to a particular person or thing in the future.
  2. The hidden power believed to control what will happen in the future; fate.

So with a glass of this good stuff firmly under my belt here is what I think:

Maybe to say, “She was destined to be a star,” is an inaccurate statement.  Maybe, “she” had a strong work ethic and determination, and “she” had the support of a family that could help get her there.  Maybe “she” had the passion and the desire to go after her own dream.  Maybe “she” could have given up—and maybe “she” could have walked away into an easier life, but just maybe “she” wasn’t about to let that happen to her. 

Sip, Sip, Sip.

What about the hero?  Maybe destiny had nothing to do with him dying a hero either.  Maybe “he” didn’t want to die that day.  Maybe “he” was just trying to help out and do the right thing.  Maybe “he” made a choice and that choice had consequences.  Maybe those consequences were giving his life to help someone else.  Just maybe, he didn’t realize what those consequences were—or maybe he did but was just doing what he would do in that situation regardless of what would happen.  Either way, he made that conscious choice—so just maybe it wasn’t destiny that sealed his fate—rather his actions, which were later deemed heroic.

Swirl. Sip. Swirl. Sip.

How about that destiny stepping in putting two people together who would live happily ever after?  I don’t know. (Let me preface this by saying, I’m speaking specifically of cultures like the USA where you are given a choice.  In cultures where you do not have a choice—obviously destiny had nothing to do with it—the people responsible are those who arranged it.). I’m thinking that two people had to encounter each other, make a decision to strike up a conversation, and perhaps a date or two.  I’m guessing they wanted to and chose to live their life together and if that ended in happily ever after—more power to them for choosing it. If you randomly run into someone in the mall—you made a choice one day to go to the mall and so did that other person.  It is all a result of choices.

Gulp. Gulp. Gulp.

Maybe what bothers me about destiny is the idea that it presupposes we aren’t given a choice in the matter. I don’t like to “let” things happen to me. I like to choose what I will do, where I will go.  If something befalls me because of that choice, then it wasn’t the best choice I could have made. I like to think I play a bigger role in my life than some idea of fate.  Of course, maybe I don’t have the experience to speak of it because I’m not a star, and I’m not a hero, and although I plan to stay married until the day I die, I am not quite dead yet.  And while it might be easier to say, “It was destiny that he and I lived happily ever after,” I would rather credit my husband for putting up with me and equally myself for making the choice to stay committed until the end. 


So destiny is a word I will use more carefully and more cautiously. While it is a nice, dreamy idea to toy with for a writer like me—I’m more a proponent of choices leading me to my evitable future, whatever that maybe. All I know is that I don’t believe that destiny will play as much of a role in my future as I ultimately will when the final page is finally turned.

Now my bottle is empty and you all should be proud. I didn’t waste a single drop!!

What about you? 

What is your take on destiny?

After I published this, I walked my furry friends and had an A-HA moment. I was trying to think of a song to add to this post—but it didn’t strike me until now.  So here you go—this is one of my favorite songs.  Oh why settle for destiny when you can go after it your way???


jenn sig copy copy


Robin said...

Well, I've always been a believer in destiny, but I never really thought about it in that much depth. I guess I really just think that everything that is supposed to happen - will. Sure, we make our own choices, but everything happens for a reason.

Kathy Combs said...

LOL, you are hysterical sucking down that wine!! But you have some really good points about destiny. Destiny all comes about because of the choices we make. We are in control. Maybe we were always meant to meet that special someone but our choices in life would perhaps play a role in the timing of when destiny was played out. I loved your take. Very fun and thought provoking with valid arguments on every score. Brilliant Jenn!!


Jenn said...

I like to think that each choice leads down a different stream...eventually the streams will all meet up in a big ole river and perhaps dump is in the ocean. LOL I like to think I am navigating my own stream and I have the option to pick up my boat and move it along down another stream if I so choose. I'll eventually get tossed in the ocean?? Or maybe I'll run into the Sahara. Either way, it is all up to me.

Jenn said...

I like to think I have a choice in my part of my existence here...I'm not being guided by some ultimate fate or destiny. I'm in control--so if I choose to make some bad choices my fate will turn out a lot differently then if I make some wise ones. Just my perception...

Michelle Liew said...

I guess my reaction would be that it's definitely in our destiny to cherish that wine while we have it!! Whatever it may be, it's made for us and to be comfortable with what we have. Thanks for sharing, Jenn!

What Jean Likes said...

Found your blog on Blogaholic network. Following you of course!!

By the way, I love your blog. I love me some wine!! Meomi is my favorite!!

come by my blog hop all weekend long and link up. It's easy and a great way to get followers!

Anne Organista said...

You couldn't have said it better, Jenn. I'm like you. I also believe that we have a choice in everything we do and much of what happens to us is because of us too.

Syn Delano said...

I TOTALLY believe in having a choice with everything we do in life. I always viewed destiny as something that was attached to a reoccurring theme in our lives. That theme would lend credit to sayings similar to "he/she was destined to be a star". I think it is possible to see where someone's strengths are when they are young and encourage or guide them down that path. There are tons of people who were seemingly naturals at something that would require years of learning/practice for everyone else. If those skills weren't nurtured properly, they would go on to live a life that just never felt right for them, while they still hold on to a part of what came natural to them. So, I suppose how we interpret destiny is what matters most here. Some look at it as some whimsical force that guides you down your true life path. Others see it as something that gives you a head start but it's ultimately the individual that paves the way for how their life is going to go.

Jenn said...

Exactly Syn!! Thanks so much for the comment :) If you see this leave the url to your blog so I can follow you :) Cheers, Jenn

Jenn said...

LOL. Michelle--that may have been destiny -- or I may have chose that specific bottle of wine for this very blog--but I will never tell! :D

Jenn said...

Thank you Anne :)

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